Navigating the Death and Rebirth: The Breakdown Before the Breakthrough

In this episode, I’m sharing what it really looks like to go through a death and rebirth in business. The messy, unedited, human experience. This isn't an episode to give you the answers but it is an opportunity for you to hear the inner workings of my mind, and feel less alone in your experience. 

The reality is that when things start to fall apart, it can feel scary. But it’s often the beginning of something so much bigger.

If you’re in the breakdown before the breakthrough, this one’s for you.

Transcript

0:01

Welcome to the Empowered Edupreneur Podcast. My name is Michelle Smit, and I'm an ex-teacher turned online business coach for Entrepreneurs, the owner of Digiteach and a six-figure entrepreneur. I am in love with empowering educators just like you to create freedom filled online businesses and lives they love. If you are looking to uplevel your skills, your finances, your mindset, and change the trajectory of your life as an educator and business, then you are in the right place. Think of this podcast as your weekly dose of business and mindset development to help unlock the infinite potential within you. To play bigger with your life and go after your dreams. We are going to have so much fun together. So thank you so much for pushing play today. Now let's dive in. Hello. Hello. I am so happy to have you here as always. It's not going to be a strategy episode today. I felt really called to share more of an authentic episode. Something that isn't necessarily about the how tos and all that stuff, but really just about navigating the challenges of business and just riding the crazy waves of running your own business. And as an evolving human who changes how your business needs to change with you. And how in your business journey, you are guaranteed, everyone in their online business journey is guaranteed to have these deaths where what you have worked on and what you have built. It feels so misaligned that you needed to almost die so that you can rebuild and find alignment again. And it's crazy because I'm super intentional about running my business and I always preach about extreme intentionality and alignment and being intuitive and following the path that feels alive to you. And although I've done that, I have very much done that. I have still found myself in a situation where I'm going through this massive death where nothing feels alive. And so how confusing can that be when you think you've done all the right things and still you're presented with this situation. And I think it's really testament to how business is just such an ongoing, evolving, spiritual experience because it is going to ask of you to really take inventory of things. And as you evolve as a human being, if you don't evolve your business. Nothing's going to work. And when you get into the space of misalignment, where you're in this like death kind of phase where things just aren't feeling good anymore, nothing's feeling like it used to. It's a place where you have to pay attention. Because if you stay in that place and you don't change anything, everything gets worse. So your offers become way more misaligned. Your content just feels impossible to create content. It just feels like such resistance. Anything that you have to do in your business feels almost like a chore because you're just so misaligned. Things are just not working out. And so, I think if we don't pay attention to this, then we have a problem. And I have had this happen to me before, and I've shared in an episode before where I had this big breakdown of my business that I'd built within a niche was so misaligned, and then I had to pivot and change niches and stuff, but that came quite naturally. This is what happens when you have life events. So say you have a loss, a big life event, someone passes away, it's very impactful. It changes the very fiber of who you are. Or you go and move countries and you change your entire environment, or you have a child and the person you thought you were is no longer there anymore. And what's happening in all of these big life events is you're having a huge identity shift. And that identity shift creates a ripple in every area of your life, and it will shake the foundation of your business. And so if you have shifted on an identity level and your business is built for who you were. It is very difficult to navigate that, and in the last three years I have navigated a significant loss of my father passing. And so the person that I was when I started doing what I'm doing now, and the person that I am, are very different. And so this is going to happen to every business owner. Every single business owner is going to shift on an identity level because life is going to life and you're going to change, and your business is going to be built for who you are and not necessarily for who you've become. And then there is a breakdown, and that breakdown is the death, right? And we have to go through that. I mean, I haven't become a mother, but I know that when you become a mother, there is a very challenging period of time. Maybe a couple of years around when you have that baby, where you are going through a massive death, of who you used to be before having a child and who you are now since having a child. And I've always seen in the business space, women who are business owners, as soon as they have a kid, give it a couple of years, but their business changes and it's because who they are is no longer the same, and you have to evolve your business. With who you are and who you're becoming. Otherwise, it becomes so misaligned, so uncomfortable, so unpleasant that it will just fall apart on its own. And so I believe right now I'm going through a breakdown. And I know that there are many people right now who would be listening to this podcast and have a similar thing. Something's happened in your life. You've shifted. You've become a different person and the way you were doing your life before whether it's your work or your business is no longer feeling good to you anymore. What used to feel good to you, no longer feels good to you anymore. And that's a really tough place to be. It's a scary place to be because especially before, like in the breakdown in the death before the rebirth, there's that liminal space. And I mentioned the liminal space beforehand in my other episode where I spoke about the death and rebirth as well. But there's this liminal space where it's just this empty space of who the hell am I? And it is really challenging to be in this space. And it's a pretty rough breakdown, but I believe we all go through it. And if you're a business owner, you're going to go through it. It's just going to happen without fail. And I can almost say every five years we can almost guarantee that there's going to be a death and a rebirth because I do believe every five years we change significantly. If you can look at who you were five years ago, you can see, oh my gosh, how different am I? How much have I changed? So, I'm in like a five year cycle now with my current business that I've been running with the current offers, with the work that I've been doing with the exact avatar. I've been helping educators and teachers and teaching business owners and women in business for five years now, to sell courses. And I've done it with very specific offers and it's worked really well. And then, ever since I moved it's been the stark contrast. I still enjoy it. There's a lot of elements that I love, specifically coaching and working with people. That is the thing that really lights me up. And I think that's the thing you need to look at is what is that golden thread? What is the golden thread that is lighting you up? Pay attention to the golden thread. So my golden thread is working with women in business and helping them step into their power. And make money and you know, coaching and really being connected with people. And I realized online business is actually such a tough game because I've been building my business in solitude for years and years and years. And since moving, there is such a community here and I've been immersed in the community and I've been inspired by the community and I've been like lit up by being in person with people. And I've realized how starved I've been of being in person with people. And since having this shift, I've just cracked open something in me where I'm just like, oh my gosh, all I want is to be with people in person. Which is very confusing because I've built an entire online business that I do everything online. And this is just an off the cuff episode of me rambling about the challenges of what happens when you have these identity shifts and when what you've built no longer fits, and how you can't necessarily just burn it all to the ground, even though sometimes you want to. So, to make this more valuable is really looking at, what are the phases to this thing? Because I'm in it, but I've got wisdom that I'm in it. So I'm like, okay, I'm in the breakdown. I'm in the death. Let's have some wisdom around what does this look like? What are the phases here? Where am I at? Maybe you can identify with this. So there's a death, right? There's a breakdown, and this is when you realize what you've built, in your business, in your life no longer fits you anymore. You've changed it as a person. And the container or the work that you're doing has not evolved with you. And it's a terrifying place because you think, oh my gosh, this is who I am, this is what I've built my success on, but what if it no longer fits? So that's when you are in the awareness of, okay, this thing is misaligned and there's a part of you that holds on because of what's comfortable, because it's all you know. So you want to stay. Say for example, you don't have a career shift, you want to change track You'll be in that death phase for a while before you actually are brave enough to make the shift, right? Because you hold on to what's normal. We hold onto what's comfortable, what's familiar. And this is the part in this death phase I think it's so important if we don't let go. It becomes excruciating and the death it just lengthens out. Everything gets more misaligned. You get more misaligned and. you're sort of ignoring your intuition signs and you just keep holding on. This is the point when you're in this death phase is when you want to be realizing, okay, this is misaligned. I have to change something. I have to shift and I have to let things go. I have to let things die. And you have to look at, okay, what is misaligned? Ask the question, what exactly is not fitting? Where is my energy going? Where is my energy being drained? And be honest about what is not working. And it's quite intense when you are honest about it, right? So that's the first thing. And then once you go through that death, there's going to be a liminal space where you are just lost. And sometimes you're not lost. Maybe right after the death there's the rebirth, which I had previously, in 2019 or whenever it was. I had a death of my business. My rebirth came like lightning. It just landed and I knew exactly what I wanted to do and I birthed DBA into the world and it was like a force of nature. It was literally a force of nature and it just took off. And now I am in a similar thing, where there's misalignment, but there is no direct bolt of clarity yet. And so that's that liminal space. And so that is a place of where you are just having to surrender to the experience of that liminal space. You have to surrender and you have to trust, and you have to pay attention, and you have to experiment, and you have to just do things just to see how they make you feel. So I think that's important because if you just stay frozen in that space and you don't do anything, you don't experiment and you just stay frozen and static and overwhelmed, then you don't get any information and any data to move you forward. But if you can go and experiment with things, go do certain things, change things up in your business, see how it makes you feel. Try new offering. Try a different way of doing things. Try new content. Go try new social media platform. If the one is mis feeling misaligned. Go do things, experiment, try things out and see if it feels good, see if it feels bad, and see if you have that big ping of yes, yes, this is it. This is it. This is it. You want to just pay attention to that feeling of, yes, this feels good, this feels right, this feels alive to me, and if you don't feel that, then it's not for you, right? And so I'm in that space now where I'm in this new country. I'm navigating a liminal space of I am no longer the person that I used to be. I am now a different person. And so who am I at the end of the day? And that's such a great intense question to ask. Who am I and what do I want to do with the world? And it's like you come to these spaces where you're at this crossroads of, I can go this way and I can go this way. And so that's where I'm at now. And right now the question you have to ask who do I want to become and how do I want my life and my business to look like? And so I think that's where I'm at now and I'm so just experimenting with things. Especially in the real world. I think when you're in this space, get out of your head and get out of your mind and go do somatic stuff. Go dance, go play, go create, go speak with people, go connect, go do things that are out of your head. Away from the screen, and you'll find clarity. You'll find more clarity by walking away from your laptop and closing it and exploring the world than you would by sitting trying to think your way to a solution or some clarity, right? So I definitely would recommend that. Now, once that liminal space shifts, you start to feel these like lightning bolts of excitement with a particular direction. And even though it's terrifying, you have to pay attention to those lightning bolts of excitement because that is your intuition speaking. It's moving through you. The way that it's making you feel. So when you go do something and it feels energizing and exciting and things like that, take away what part of that is doing that and learn from it and do more of that. I feel like the only way for us to find our alignment again, and to build a business that is matching our current identity is to really pay attention to where those beautiful lining bolts of energy. And follow it. So that's where I'm at. I'm exploring lots of different things. I'm doing a lot of spiritual work. I'm doing a lot of sematic work. I'm doing a lot of dancing. I've got two ecstatic dances this weekend where I'm just going to dance my way through the whole weekend. I'm doing a cacao ceremony. And I'm just moving through on a soul level, what feels good to me, and I think that that's where my energy's pointing. And so that's what I'm doing. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to go and explore that. I'm going to follow that. And even though it's not correlated to my business, but in a way I know it's related because I know that my next version of my business, my next step of what my business looks like and things and the work that I do, it's all connected. Your desires are divine, and they're being planted in you for you to follow, and your joy. You follow that intuitively. You follow your energy and your joy, and when you do that, it takes you to this place you are meant to be. Even though it doesn't make logical sense. So although I can't see the connection between why I want to do these things right now and why I'm pulling to this so much. And I'm repelled by certain things. Like right now I am not enjoying the empty world of social media. I'm really enjoying not having my phone. I'm really enjoying not being connected to that matrix. I'm repelled by it at the moment. And so what I'm energized by what I'm lit up by is these other things. And it doesn't make sense to my brain. It's not adding up, and I'm not seeing the path yet. And so that's what I want to share with you. If you are in the similar thing, just follow your intuition. Just follow your joy. Just follow your energy. Stop sitting at your computer and trying to like, guess your way of find clarity. Go experiment with different things where your energy is pointing to and go see how that makes you feel. Let it just unfold from there. I really believe when we do that, it will unfold. You have to trust, you have to surrender. You have to make set peace with the fact that you don't have the answers yet, but follow what is lighting you up. What is giving you energy, what is making you feel alive, and just go do more of that. So yeah, it's a confusing place to be, to be honest. And so it's not like I have the answers for it. And so that's why this podcast episode isn't exactly like, do this, do this, do this. This is what you need to do because it's not always like that, right? Sometimes it's just messy. And this human experience is messy and running a business is messy. And you're going to feel lost. And you're going to feel uninspired and you're going to feel like you've outgrown what you've built. And true leadership is paying attention, accepting that what you've built or what you've done is maybe a bit misaligned, or it's the old version of you and making space for the new version of you. The new identities that's pulling through. And how can you pull this new version of you into your business? How can you evolve your business? Maybe it's a shift in niche. Maybe it's a shift in the work that you do. Maybe your offers are misaligned. You need to put your offers to bed and start, new offers that light you up. So there's a lot that is going through my mind right now and It's quite a muddle, I would say. I think this episode has been just sharing that it is messy, that there are phases to this experience. And if you can have wisdom when you're in this experience of, I'm in this, it's okay I'm in it. If you don't have that wisdom of I'm in this death and I'm in this rebirth, it can be even more scary and suffering. Just knowing that you're going through a breakdown and knowing that the breakthrough is coming makes a huge difference, and trusting that the breakthrough is coming and letting go of the control of what that looks like and surrendering to it unfolding how it needs to unfold, and all your job is your only job right now. Is to pay attention to your energy and the lightning sparks of energy that come through. Those intuitive hits before your mind kicks in and logic kicks in. Pay attention to the intuitive hits and follow it and let it unfold naturally. So that's it. Being a human is messy. Running a business is messy. I don't always have the answers. No one always has the answers. If they pretend they have the answers, they don't have the answers. And so this wasn't really a episode that's going to make you necessarily tick the boxes on all the things you can do. But it's a very human episode of, okay, this is actually what it looks like in life and business. And we're all in it together, and that's actually the most authentic thing I can bring to you today. If I went and did a whole strategy session, it would be very inauthentic from where I'm at right now. All right, so I hope some part of this made sense to you. Even made you feel less alone in the journey that you're in. Because I think a lot of us are navigating massive identity shifts right now. The world is changing, we're changing. So even if it made you feel a bit better, then that's my job done. So I hope you have a beautiful day and I'll chat to you again very soon. Ciao! Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. If you loved what you heard today, then be sure to take a screenshot of the episode and share it on your Instagram and tag me in it. I honestly love hearing from you, and I appreciate you so much and can't wait to connect with you in the next episode. In the meantime, go create a business and life you love.